Chapter 67: Super Dr Bad

Daltons back and he's gonna save his reputation. Hey la, hey la, my Dalton's back! He's kind of big and he's awful strong. Hey la, hey la, my Dalton's back! Yeah! You know that song? When you lose your Dalton through multiple dimensions and have to get him back? You know it. It's all over the inter-dimensional soundwaves. Almost as popular as "Dear god, when will she get to the important part??" That one's my favorite. Just like how my favorite dessert is brownies. Cause cake can be too.....cakey, ya know? And then the frosting? Messy. ANYWAY, Dalton is back! The gang was able to get him back in a body. Maybe not his body, but they did their best! Plus Jeff is using it and it's all gross now. But, how will they stop Dr Bad? Will they be able to actually find a portal back to Earth?? It's all here in another amazing adventure of DUUUNNGGEEEOOONNN RRRAAAADDDIIIOOOO HHHHOOOUUURRR!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
THIS SHOW IS NSFW AND NSFK (Not safe for kids. sorry kids!)

Our DM is Dalton Rusher-Riddle
Our Players are Andrew Gehrlein, Michael Adair & Alissa Adair
Theme song by Dustin Hook
Sound effects from Zapsplat and Pixabay
Background music by Android_dreams, Leberch, Yaksahbanphakhan and The Mountain on Pixabay

Please check out our Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, AND NOW PATREON on our Linktree to keep up with the latest DRH news!

Bye for now~
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Hello and welcome to Space Cadets to season two of Dungeon Radio Hour, an actual play comedy podcast where thanks to even Stevens, I will always remember that we went to the moon in 1969. As always, I'm your host and the dungeon master, Dalton Rusher Riddle, joined once again by my ragtag band of would-be heroes. Introduce yourself, heroes.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Hi, I'm Michael Adair.

SPEAKER_06 0:43

Hi, I'm Alyssa Adair.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

Hi, I'm Andrew Gerline. We never say hi, we just say I'm Michael Adair. We're saying hi now.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Hi, it's been a while since we've been together. It's been a while since we've recorded. Um I just want to take a pulse check. I want to just check in with everyone, see how you're doing, see how you're feeling, what's new, what's old, anything exciting going on. Okay, fantastic. I'm so glad that we had that discussion. I'm so glad that I just learned all of those things about you. That was lovely and amazing.

SPEAKER_05 1:14

None of it was usable. None of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

We had to kind of I feel like I didn't get to answer it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

But no, the reason the reason I bring up that it's been a while since we've recorded it leads me into our uh pre-show topic for the evening. I feel like a few episodes back we talked about cozy games. And I did not have a cozy game per se to share with the class at that point in time because I thought cozy games were stupid. Um I have I have a cozy game now. It's a little title called Pocopia. And it has completely dominated my video game experience for the last, I don't know, like a month, month and a half. The reason why I bring this up is it's very much Animal Crossing, it's very much sims, it's very much like build your habitats, make your Pokemon happy, increase the environment level, yada yada yada. Where I'm going with this is if you had to choose one like type of biome to exist in and to inhabit in for the rest of your life, uh where would it be? Would it be the beach? Would it be the mountains? Would it be the desert? Would it be a coniferous forest or deciduous forest? Don't ask me the difference because I don't know. Would it be the Arctic?

SPEAKER_06 2:31

I want to say like Irish countryside. That is gonna be like just my if I had to take just a little section and put a little biome on it. I want that climate and temperament. I actually don't want a place I look at my skin. I am porcelain, man. I could not be anywhere where there's too much sun. I need coverage, I need clouds, and I want beautiful, calm, lovely landscape, just Irish countryside. Doesn't that sound so peaceful and beautiful?

SPEAKER_02 2:57

It does because like my answer would also be like Irish countryside or like the Scottish Highlands or like something of that of that vein. Um so I completely understand Alyssa. I I get it.

SPEAKER_06 3:08

I just want large roaming grass to just walk and do long walks in and see the animals, uh and have a little cottage and have it rain occasionally so you can just hear it outside as you're reading your book. Yes, that's like Alyssa's comfort place.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

Um honestly that would be great. But here's the thing I would want to walk like two blocks and be in like New York City or something. Because I also do need that. I need bustling, I need stuff to do, I need a little shop to enter, I need a theater to go to, movie and or regular.

SPEAKER_06 3:46

Fair.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:48

No, but that is valid. I think uh I might get a little bored in my location. You want stuff to do in a nice little city, you would have to do it. But at the same time, know it.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

You'd like to be able to walk down like two blocks and get to the strand or get to a nice museum or like a for me, I don't know, a clothing store or a mall or something. I need a I need to be close to an Annie Ann's at all times.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

See, that's what I'm saying. I want to live in the future. I want to live sort of like a spaceopolis. I want to live in the land of technology where I can just like step outside and just like a milkshake is downloaded into my tongue. Okay. Right. You know what I mean? Like Wally.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Yeah, like Wally. Like, but yeah, like Wally.

SPEAKER_05 4:28

I can teleport, I can go to the to the place and get like fake sun if I want it. I can go to the I can be uh jacked into like the desert and live out my Dune fantasies if I want to. Right. Which I don't have those, but if I want if I have them one day, I might want to jack into a sandy world.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Uh so like you're you're dropped into Westworld.

SPEAKER_05 4:48

Dropped into Westworld. If Westworld is one of those worlds, yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

So in lieu of Andrew picking one, he's picking all.

SPEAKER_05 4:56

I'm picking them all.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

You didn't say we couldn't pick all. I did, I didn't. You should have specified. I did not say that you couldn't pick all. That's that's that's on me. And I I take the blame for that.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Well, what's your answer, smart guy?

SPEAKER_02 5:09

I already answered I answered when Alyssa answered.

SPEAKER_06 5:12

No, he's gonna have the countryside right next to my countryside. Our biomes are gonna be next to each other.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Those countries will be at war. They're gonna be close enough that we can like say hi, but like far enough away that I can also pretend that Alyssa's not just like down the road.

SPEAKER_06 5:22

Oh, we'll just like wave and then it's like sorry, we can't. It's my biome and your biome. We can't. I'm in my biome.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

I'm in my biome. I can't nobody. I can't hear you. What's wrong? Um, I want I want something, I want something mountainous. I want something that's got like deep green lush forests. I want something that's got like streams and brooks and lakes and like and like ancient ruins that are just like dotting the hillside that maybe you can walk through if you want to.

SPEAKER_05 5:49

You come to my world, you can download yourself into Skyrim 2.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Skyrim's not a biome, though. The Scottish Highlands would have been.

SPEAKER_05 5:56

If you go to my world, bro, you got every biome. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

He could have a Skyrim by biome. I almost said bi zone.

SPEAKER_05 6:04

You did. I got one of those too, bro. Hey. Name a single word. I got it.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

I'd love to be in your bi zone.

SPEAKER_06 6:10

Dalton, since we're kind of mind-linked anyway. Possible alternative. Machu Picchu.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

Oh. No, you mean Pikachu, dummy.

SPEAKER_06 6:27

I'm gonna do it this time, guys. This is okay, great.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Guys, take careful note. This is how you get other people to do your work for you. As f as quickly as you can. Rapid fire.

SPEAKER_06 6:38

Alright. Last time on Dungeon Radio Hour, we entered the lab. We saw that all these little holographic planets with X's on them, and then we saw Earth. And Andrew tried to mind meld with us and tell us it was Earth. We started negotiating with Dr. Bad. I ended up putting a knife to his neck. Mike put a gun to his head for some reason. We finally convinced Dr. Bad to see us for actual worthy opponents to negotiate with, and we were able to get Dalton back. He had a robot body. We plugged the flash drive in, and Dalton woke up.

SPEAKER_05 7:14

Now go from the episode one. Episode one, Alyssa.

SPEAKER_06 7:17

We woke up in a forest. Yep. Yeah. Andrew went inside a horse.

SPEAKER_05 7:22

Right. Oh god, I remember.

SPEAKER_06 7:23

Couldn't find Dalton. Anyway, z lots of stuff happened, and now Dalton's in a robot body.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

Can you hear us? Now that's your hear. You're so far away. You're in a robot body.

SPEAKER_05 7:36

Dalton, I'd start touching the robot's face. Dalton is, can you feel this? I slap him. Boom.

SPEAKER_06 7:41

Dalton, how are you feeling?

SPEAKER_02 7:43

I feel like I've been ridden hard and put up wet. Why did it take the three of you so long to find me?

SPEAKER_06 7:50

Don't you immediately come and criticize us? We don't know how to make robot bodies.

SPEAKER_03 7:53

We don't.

SPEAKER_06 7:54

We were taking care of your hard drive. That sounds okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

That's our problem to me. Yeah, this is Dalton. No, dude. We did we did the best we could. Hey man, used to be a sand disk. And now you're a robot. So shut the fuck up and get ready to go into a portal. Because we're getting the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

The last thing that I remember is I was still in my body. So whatever the three of you did between now and then to get me into whatever this is.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

Okay, you see the flesh jar over there sitting on the shelf. The flesh jar? That guy did it. That's Jeff. The flesh jar is Jeff.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Time. You don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

No, I'm saying the last time. The last time I was I was in my body, I was in my body. You know what I'm saying? Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 8:38

So you remember being in the computer.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Oh yes, I remember being in the computer. Another one of your ridiculous mistakes in theory of you made.

SPEAKER_06 8:45

For our creative solutions. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Listen, listen, Dalton's a little pro he's probably hangry. Also How's your stomach feel? Robotics?

SPEAKER_05 8:55

He's a robot.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

Yeah, it feels it feels hollow and steel. That's normal too.

SPEAKER_05 8:59

Dalton, Dr. Bad, Dr. Bad, Dalton.

SPEAKER_06 9:01

Yeah. This is him.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Well, it's the pleasure to make your acquaintance Dalton, as they say.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

What the fuck you got your finger in your mouth for? Take your finger out of your mouth and talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

I've been telling him that, dude. He likes to do it. But that's what he likes to do.

SPEAKER_05 9:18

That's his comfort finger.

SPEAKER_06 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

He's stimming right now. Alright. Listen. Go ahead, Dr. Bad. No, take it away.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

No, no, no, no. It's fine. I I want the four of you to have this beautiful family reunion because I'm sure it's a a very long time coming.

SPEAKER_05 9:35

Yeah, two seasons worth. And it's played out. And Dalton's not gonna go missing again. We promise.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

I would I would like to volunteer to go missing. If that if it is that is that option on the table, I would like to volunteer to go missing.

SPEAKER_06 9:48

No, Dalton, Dalton, we are literally this close to getting home, okay? That's what you've been missing out on. We found out that we can maybe get portals back home, okay? So if you just help us out, you might get your real body back. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Remember, portals are weird. You slept with men in it. You did that for years, and you loved it. How far back can you remember? I show I show you a picture, Cody.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yes, that is my husband, Cody. Yes, I know who that is, Michael. Thank you very much. He's Dalton. But he's not going to want to be married to a toaster, and the Dalt just like gestures at the robotic body he is currently inhabiting.

SPEAKER_06 10:24

Do you see the rest of us though? I'm a tree. He's also a toaster. He's goo. He's bubblegum. We're just having to accept our bodies. I understand. You didn't get a chance to kind of take some time and accept it. But the thing is, is we the the portals be weird, dude. We could be in completely different bodies the next time. That's just kind of how these portals be happening. Portals be happening, don't but anyway, the fur the most important thing, Dr. Bad, I'm gonna assume that we're now on good negotiating terms and I no longer have to hold a knife to your neck. We're good?

SPEAKER_05 10:54

I'm gonna hold the knife down. Don't keep the knife on his throat.

SPEAKER_06 10:57

I'm trying to show that we are amicable and we are gonna work together.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Oh yes, yes, yes, VD. We're very amicable. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:07

I am.

SPEAKER_05 11:09

You'll never say you'll never be able to say that one, sir.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

I don't know. Um I don't think he got it. I don't think he got that one in.

SPEAKER_06 11:18

It's a toughie. Okay, but you know what we mean. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Slice his throat. I take the gun away from his head, but I I keep it pointed at his head.

SPEAKER_06 11:27

I'm just saying, he showed us goodwill. He kept his end of the bargain and gave us back Dalton.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What the what the what Feeny is saying, it's facts why kept my end of the bargain. Now the three of you, or the four of you now, keep the end of yours. Open the portal.

SPEAKER_05 11:48

Okay. We're gonna open the we gotta get the the engine, which is right this thing right here. I point to his shiny thing on the ground. That's gonna be the portal engine, so we're gonna have to turn that. Guys, right, once we have the key. Well, we need the key.

SPEAKER_06 12:05

And let's just and we also have to confer. We have to confer. We finally got Dalton. And if Andrew, grab Jeff.

SPEAKER_05 12:11

Jeff, I'm gonna take the flesh jar off the shelf. It's cool. This is my friend.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

We need him, he's part of it.

SPEAKER_04 12:21

Oh, feels so good.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Andrew.

SPEAKER_04 12:23

Beep boop, beep, beep boop, beep boop. Roll beep.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Roll deception. Andrew, roll deception. Add advantage because you have help from Mike and Alyssa.

SPEAKER_05 12:32

Uh, 16.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Okay, that is that is enough for Dr. Bats to buy whatever the hell it is you think you're selling.

SPEAKER_06 12:38

Okay. Jeff, Jeff. Okay. Hey. It's go time, dude. Are you are you cohering?

SPEAKER_03 12:44

Jeff, are you? Are you with us?

SPEAKER_05 12:45

Hey! Hey! Oh shit! Is it time to go on? Jeff starts tab dancing. Where's my poor mic in the goo? What is what the fuck is wrong with Jeff?

SPEAKER_03 12:57

I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_05 12:58

Jeff. Dr. Ben, what did you do to him? His brain was already scrambled, but you fucking scrambled it even more.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

I didn't do anything to him. I simply kept him in the uh suspended, and that's just it's just looking liquid.

SPEAKER_05 13:12

When liquid is, I pull a can of Mountain Dew out of the trash can. Did you did you fill this with Mountain Dew? Uh Baja Blast? Yes. You guys have taco belly?

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Isn't that what all of you use for your preserving liquids on ER?

SPEAKER_05 13:29

No, everybody knows Baja Blast preservative-based liquids turn your brain into mush if you've been in there for two to three weeks. I reach in, I take Jeff out, and everybody further knows that if you take them out of that same liquid, they're cured within seconds. Guys!

SPEAKER_06 13:51

Oh, Jeffy and Baja Blast.

SPEAKER_05 13:57

Oh god, oh my god, that hangover is gonna be insane.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Andrew, Mike, Alisa, Dr.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

Bad, uh, a bird who used to be an ego? Wait, a dead zero? How would you know that? How would you know that? Uh everyone's here! I've I think I've named everyone, right? He's hallucinating, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:22

Give me my Baja Blast, you bitch! No, dude, no, dude, you're currently Teal. No, slow down. You are gonna be tempted. I give him a glass of actual water.

SPEAKER_05 14:32

Who's this sexy-looking toaster? Oh, I'd like to jam my sourdough into that bread hole. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Someone please put the fleshy semicolon back into the Baja Blast.

SPEAKER_04 14:43

It's D's Thompson! Brother! I I got your body! Ha!

SPEAKER_05 14:47

This is your body, actually. Take the this this amalgamation of flesh.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

That's not my really?

SPEAKER_05 14:52

Are you sure he he lifts up his skin flap and you see a very familiar tattoo of yours? Whichever tattoo you want it to be.

SPEAKER_06 15:01

Wonder well, what a wonderful reunion, Jeff. Okay, you focused? You with me? Cause we can finally get out of here, but we need your help, okay? You know how you would make portals? You remember how you did that in your world? You'd made a portal and you brought us to like Waterdeep, and you did portals to like bring us from Earth? You just gotta make one. You just gotta make one again here, okay?

SPEAKER_05 15:22

That's all you gotta do. I just gotta make a portal. Um Hopefully you guys did not negotiate based on my portal making skills. Hopefully you guys aren't into some negotiations with a big bad evil guy. You're not trying to because I don't know if I can deliver.

SPEAKER_06 15:39

We're gonna need you to deliver, bud. You've done it so many times.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

That's what Jeff says right before he delivers. I know him. He loves to underpromise and overperform, don't you, Jeff?

SPEAKER_03 15:48

That's his thing. It's always been his thing.

SPEAKER_05 15:51

Uh I mean, if you have like an engine, like this thing on the ground, this shiny thing could be an engine. We need the key, though. I told I fucking told you guys we need the key. Dr. Bad, we need the key.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Uh I uh I get a key a key. Um Dr. Bad starts like patting the pockets of his lab coat um and uh of his little jumper that he has on underneath.

SPEAKER_05 16:15

Uh okay, as he's looking, as he's looking, Jeff kind of like goes up to the group. He's like, guys, I don't know how to I don't have any of my portal making stuff here. So hopefully didn't you just use like magic? I mean I use magic plus like a bunch of other ingredients.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

I guess if you have like powdered silver uh unicorn blood, if you have like powdered uh giant teeth, if you've got uh fire giant wang, I need um uh do you have any of the things I can keep naming things if you want?

SPEAKER_05 16:44

Dragon testicles, um a bat wing, just a regular bat. Bat wing.

SPEAKER_06 16:50

Look around. This is what we got. Look around.

SPEAKER_05 16:52

We've got cottage cheese right there, Jeff. Can you work with that?

SPEAKER_06 16:56

We do have cottage cheese.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

It's low fat, Jeff. It's all we could do.

SPEAKER_05 17:00

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_04 17:00

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This uh oh hold on. Let me let me give me a chance to walk.

SPEAKER_05 17:05

Andrew, walk me around the walk me around the lab. Let me feel the energy signatures of all the things here. Jeff sticks a tentacle out of the jar and he's just like feeling the air. And uh as we get close to the void drive, I want to know is there a void drive in here? Just made that up.

SPEAKER_06 17:22

Well, there's a void. There Dalton already said there's a black void already.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

There's a black void already there.

SPEAKER_05 17:27

As he gets close to the void, he really does feel maybe the the magical energy.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Sure, give me an arcana check as Jeff.

SPEAKER_05 17:38

Arcana. Gonna be an 11.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Okay, that's still enough. Um as Jeff gets close to this inky black void uh that is here in Dr. Bad's laboratory, he gets the heebie jeebies. Like he picks up on some powerful energy signatures here. Um, what Jeff would consider to be magical, uh, but what the void would just consider to be its own powers and ability.

SPEAKER_04 18:07

Oh shit. Um, yeah, this is uh this should work. It's it's think of it like a cauldron where I can create the portal.

SPEAKER_05 18:16

As long as this power's here, I'll just need a few more ingredients. Dr. Bad, do you have any? And then he starts listing ingredients and it fades out because it goes over to me, Mike, and Alyssa, who are talking, guys. Okay, if Jeff can really pull this off, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_06 18:32

Maybe we can just like jump in real quick before Dr. Bad does anything?

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Yeah, because that sounds like a good idea. Come on, Alyssa, think harder.

SPEAKER_05 18:39

Okay, but but okay, we we open the port- yeah, with the portal to Earth, and we we just all jump in together. And but but what if Dr. Bad follows us? What if the void monster follows us and destroys Earth? We don't want to destroy Earth.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Both of those things are true. Dr. Bad and the Void Monster are definitely going to follow us. Come on, guys!

SPEAKER_04 18:57

Maybe what we could do is distract him in some way. We'll figure out a way to close it on the other side. I'm gonna need powdered iron, I'm gonna need a dragon tail.

SPEAKER_06 19:06

We have to find a way to turn the the portal off.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Some Jesus, I'm gonna need some Skittles. Think about it this way. What do we need to do? The three of us, four of us, need to get through the portal without Dr. Bad following us.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

Yes? Or maybe we could just like stab him in the face and then go through the portal. We open the portal, we stab face, go through the portal. Open, stab portal.

SPEAKER_06 19:31

The thing that we've learned is he is incredibly smart and he works with a lot of prediction, like math and and and and statistics. So if we want a chance at injuring or killing Dr. Bad, we have to be spontaneous. We have to have it come out of nowhere, okay? Or else he is going to predict it to happen. Do you get what I'm saying? That was the only reason I got the jump on him with the knife. He wasn't expecting someone like me to do it, which is exactly why I did it. So we have to keep what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

And then he really didn't expect the gun on the other side.

SPEAKER_04 20:02

Sure. Yeah. That looks like about everything you need. Yeah, you you had literally every item I named. You just had it, Dr. Bad. Wow. Impressive. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_05 20:12

Uh guys, do you really I mean, I think I really have everything here ready to go, plus my magical powers through Dalton's uh energy, and uh I can open this portal, should I?

SPEAKER_03 20:25

Oh wait, but we also forgot some other stuff like uh powdered silver, a dragon tail, Reese's, a Kit Kat, I like Dragon Tails. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

DVD of Dragon Tails, season two, a DVD yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yeah, yeah. Uh triple A battery, a bra.

SPEAKER_04 20:43

Got that. We got that.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

Nylon stockings. Got it. We got it all, man. 20 feet of hip and rope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:49

I'm trying to st I would stall, but we got literally everything. Dr. Bad, I want to stall, and I can't because we have it all here.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Uh excellent. That means there is no other delay and you can open the portal. Go ahead, slash fag. Open the portal.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

Alright. Uh I guess jam me into the keyhole. What?

SPEAKER_06 21:13

What?

SPEAKER_04 21:14

Jam me into the keyhole of the void drive thing.

SPEAKER_06 21:17

Do you just want us to like shove you into the computer?

SPEAKER_05 21:20

Shove me in, baby. I'm ready to go. He starts like he starts like glowing and then he kind of melts into a more malleable form.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Come on, baby! Shove me on in! You know what? I'll do it. This is yes. Okay. I'm not touching you.

SPEAKER_06 21:35

Put him into the computer, I guess. Uh I pick him up.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

I pick him up. I make a I make a bowl out of my goo and I put his goo into my goo. A different colored goo in my goo. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

I don't like it.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

I don't know a better way to do it, you guys. And then I I move over to the void drive, I go to the keyhole. I I have a a bowl in my belly, right? So I make A little teapot spout out of the bowl, and I start pouring Jeff into the keyhole.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

You start pulling pouring Jeff into the keyhole of this uh void drive lock of sorts. And it's almost like um You know when we were kids and we got that like squishy Play-Doh slime stuff from like the the scholastic bookstore. Oh yeah. Or you know what I'm talking about? Um and you tried to like shove it into a crevice or like a really small opening and it just went to that like squishy noise. That's what's happening as you're shoving Jeff as you're shoving Jeff into the keyhole of this of this portal. Um it's just a very unpleasant sound.

SPEAKER_05 22:53

As part of him goes in, he like the rest of his body starts glowing with purple energy, and it like sucks him in all the way. Yep. Jeff! Jeff! The void drive starts shaking. Oh shit, guys. Uh he's making the whole place shake.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Much like Andrew has described the entire laboratory starts shaking violently as Jeff's energy signature starts to interact with this void um kind of puddle of energy that's here in Dr. Bad's laboratory. Uh pieces of the ceiling start falling down and crashing around you. I need everyone to roll a dexterity save, please, to make sure that they can uh avoid the falling debris.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Oh no.

SPEAKER_06 23:36

A three.

SPEAKER_05 23:37

I got a five. I got a five.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

I got a three, too. Oh wow. Okay, so all three of you um are going to take six bludgeoning damage as pieces of the ceiling fall from above you. Um you are able to like jump out of the way, but you are still hit with the debris as it does come cascading down.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

Ow!

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Oh, debris!

SPEAKER_03 24:03

And I got dust in my eye! Oh my god, it's hard.

SPEAKER_05 24:15

Guys, you you hear Jeff's voice over like the intercom, and it's like static, he's like, I can only open the portal!

SPEAKER_04 24:23

I can't direct it where'd you go? You need to put the coordinates!

SPEAKER_05 24:33

Okay. Um, I plug in, I find uh I look for a USB 3.0 drive uh somewhere on the side of this void drive. Do I find one, Dalton? Give me an investigation check. Uh oh, hell yeah. Uh 16.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Oh yeah, you definitely find one. Yeah. You find a USB-C and you are able to plug your Jack directly into uh this computer. And as you do the shaking in Dr. Bad's laboratory finally stops, and things become just like this eerie calm. Um and then all of you can feel the energy building in this room because the hairs on your arms, on the back of your necks start to stand up, and you all just get this very familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. And the last time you had this feeling is when you went through the portal at the end of season one, and as you're all kind of like thinking and having this collective thought into existence blink this violet, uh huge swirling mass of transportational energy in front of you. The three of you hear a very distinct clicking sound come from behind you, and as you turn to look at Dr. Bad, you see he has pulled a lever back on this device that he is standing beside. Ho ho ho yes. Now that we have it, we want to make sure it doesn't go anywhere. This simple locking mechanism just makes sure that the portal, once it's open, doesn't close.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Uh shit.

SPEAKER_06 26:21

Uh good, yeah. Don't like that. Great. Yeah. Um how long? Wait, I mean, we don't we don't need this open for long, right, Dr. Bad?

SPEAKER_05 26:31

Not forever, certainly.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. It's going to stay open for forever. This is now my gateway to an entire new world. A new world to study.

SPEAKER_05 26:45

But you already have you you you already have this world, and and this is a new world. You're gonna go through the portal, and that's your new world. You don't need to come back to this shitty space one.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

I can't take all of my inventions on one trip. I need to be able to move freely from this new world and my laboratory.

SPEAKER_05 27:05

But why would you need your inventions? It's not like you're gonna enslave and torture the populace of Earth, are you? Why?

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Why would I do anything like that?

SPEAKER_05 27:15

I don't like the way your voice changed at the end there. Seems like you might want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Dr. Bad, we can't leave the portal open. It's dangerous. We don't know what could happen. Yeah. If we leave the portal open permanently. It could become unstable.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

You need to close the loop once we get through. Or else something could happen.

SPEAKER_06 27:42

A way to be ominous, Jeff, without being specific.

SPEAKER_04 27:44

Was it ominous and I can make the consequences could be grave. Was that grave or dire? Which one?

SPEAKER_03 27:56

But the green the gravel you had on grave was pretty good.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

Don't you hear, Dr. Bat, the consequences could be grave or dire! If you leave the portal open, it could suck. I mean, Frawino could suck an entire world through. It's like a it's like a sinkhole from one universe to the next. You can't just leave it open.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Well, in that case, we might as well just all go to the new world together.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

But I don't like the new laugh. I'm gonna throw that out there. I don't like the new laugh. He's never trying it out. It's you know, we'll give him a chance.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Alright, I'll give the laugh a little bit. I'm practicing my monologuing. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_05 28:34

Oh, he's got a monologue coming. Great.

SPEAKER_06 28:36

I no, I like it. Let's let's all just go together. And guys, guys, maybe we can just figure out something once we're through.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

What?

SPEAKER_06 28:43

Once we can we'll just figure out something once we're gonna throw it.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

You're whispering, I can't hear you.

SPEAKER_06 28:47

Oh my god, just get a little closer.

SPEAKER_05 28:49

Mike, we're gonna figure it out once we're through, buddy.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Well, while is that we're gonna figure out?

SPEAKER_05 28:54

We're figuring out I'm figuring out where to land us. I've got us um in North America. Guys, where St. Louis? Uh Los Angeles? Where should I take us?

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Honestly, maybe some what's good for lunch.

SPEAKER_06 29:05

Exactly. I was trying to figure out what's good for dinner. Yeah, and for so Chinese? Yeah. Chinese. Maybe China.

SPEAKER_05 29:12

Oh my god, there is actually a great Chinese restaurant like two miles from my house. I can land us right there. We land on Earth, we get some Chinese food Earthside, and then we find out maybe if I have like a son or something on Earth now. I've been gone for so long, maybe I have a kid by you.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

You've been gone a while.

SPEAKER_05 29:28

Yeah, you've been gone a while. It's definitely not mine. Dr.

SPEAKER_06 29:32

Bat, do you like Chinese? You're not allergic to anything, are you? Oh man. That could inconveniently get in the food.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

As all of you are having this conversation, there's a low rumble that comes from the depths of the laboratory. Um it's not like an earthquake-style shaking like you experienced earlier when things fell from the ceiling, but it's this low kind of like primal eldritch rumbling, and you hear this this gravelly voice from somewhere below you.

SPEAKER_06 30:10

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Dr. Bad, you you had that under control, right? You uh you have uh the void's energy under control.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

Is that what you thought? No, no, merely contained the merely contained. But now that you have opened this portal to a new world it's away. And it wants the same thing that I do. So why would it make sense for us to both go together? And as he says, both go together, this black, purplish void energy kind of rises up from the floor and slowly starts to go into Dr. Bad, coming up through the soles of his boots, um, and up into his legs and into his torso, down his arms and into his neck, up to the eyes, and as it does, you can see the veins underneath his skin begin to blacken and pulse in these blacks and purples and deep violets, and his eyes begin to glow this awful, ominous purple hue, and his face starts to begin to swirl, just like the the faces of the uh astronauts that you encountered on at the space station, but then it eventually settles back into Dr. Bad's visage that you have known him this entire time. Uh, but the the veins are still uh apparent under the skin, the eyes are still glowing.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Now, that's better.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Our heroes are finally on their way home, but now only one thing stands in their way. Dr. Bad and the ancient evil he has employed to help get him to Earth. Will our heroes be strong enough to stop Dr. Bad? And will they finally make it back home? Find out next time with the newest episode drops of Dungeon Radio Hour. In the meantime, head on over to our Patreon at www.patreon.com slash dungeon radio hour for more excited intros, behind the scenes content, and bloopers. Until next time, keep the volume up. The dial to Didn't always say yes to adventure. Bye for now, kids apparent under the skin, the eyes are so glowing.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Now that's better.

SPEAKER_06 33:09

Would you want some crab ring good with your Chinese order?

SPEAKER_03 33:16

That's our listen. I like it. I like it.