Chapter 64: Squid Pro Quo

So Alissa turned into an octopus and they finally found Elle. Way to go team! But those creatures were super scary. Will the gang be any safer with Elle than with these behemoths? Honestly it feels 50/50 at this point; either way could equal death. Unless they can get Elle on their side? Is she already on their side? So many questions but I promise, we have some answers! Tune in to another amazing adventure of DDUUUNNNNGGGEEOOONNN RRRAAADDIIIOOO HHHHOOOUUURRR!!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
THIS SHOW IS NSFW AND NSFK (Not safe for kids. sorry kids!)

Our DM is Dalton Rusher-Riddle
Our Players are Andrew Gehrlein, Michael Adair & Alissa Adair
Theme song by Dustin Hook
Sound effects from Zapsplat and Pixabay
Background music by Alexgrohl, alexis_gaming_cam, drone, and freesound_community on Pixabay

Please check out our Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, AND NOW PATREON on our Linktree to keep up with the latest DRH news!

Bye for now~
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Hello and welcome, Space Cadets, to season two of Dungeon Radio Hour, an actual play comedy podcast where one of our players is a robot, one of our players is a plant, and one of our players is technically spreadable. As always, I'm your host and Dungeon Master Dalton Brucher Riddle. Joined once again by my ragtages. Introduce yourself, Heroes. I'm Mike Adair.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

And he's spreadable. And I'm the plant, Alyssa.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

And I forgot what my thing was, but I'm Andrew.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

I tried to keep a straight face so hard through that intro. I even got past Andrew spitting liquid from his mouth without breaking characters.

SPEAKER_05 0:59

I was thinking no one noticed that. I was thinking no one noticed that. I was like, I just I just drained water on myself for nobody.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

And like the professional that I am, I kept the show rolling. Yeah, goddammit, I laughed at my own joke.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

And you're a professional.

SPEAKER_06 1:18

Like the professional he is, he laughed through his line. And now that we pointed it out, it's featured in the opening for sure. And here it is slow motion. And one more time, there we go.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

Yeah. Everywhere. It was everywhere. And ladies, that's how Laura got pregnant. That's true.

SPEAKER_05 1:38

Oh if I make sure some of you pregnant by just watching. Oh, think about that.

SPEAKER_06 1:44

No, too far, too far. Andrew's a new daddy. He can be your daddy. I bet by the time this comes out, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

So speaking of Andrew, you becoming a new father soon, I'm sure you're going to want to share as much with your offspring, your your child, um, as you can, like books that you enjoyed when you were a kid, or like shows or movies. And that got me thinking about the pre-show topic for tonight. What is your favorite animated non-Disney and or non-Pixar film? Because there are a lot out there that are not endorsed by the mouse that I think don't get enough credit. Um DreamWorks got some solid ones, uh, Studio Ghibli's got some solid ones, WB's got some solid ones.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

Illumination tries, but no. Not the minions, not here.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

Nope, not here. So I want your favorite non-Disney gnoptics or animated film.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

I don't think you understand how hard of a question this is.

SPEAKER_05 2:44

I have one that's like a cut above the rest, but and then I have like a a couple. Mine has no right going as hard as it does. Mine is uh it surprises me, but it's my favorite. It's done so well. I'm talking, of course, of DreamWorks, the Prince of Egypt.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

I knew someone was gonna say Prince of Egypt. It's on my list. I knew someone was gonna say Prince of Egypt.

SPEAKER_05 3:09

Unbelievably good.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 3:12

Um, the animation is done well, the pacing, the voice acting.

SPEAKER_04 3:16

It's just perfection. And that's my problem is a lot of these that are on my list, in my opinion, are just perfection. Like this is just like A plus, 95% or above a perfect movie. Prince of Egypt is definitely up there. Just good all around.

SPEAKER_05 3:31

The music, I mean, Steven Schwartz did the music music, right?

SPEAKER_04 3:35

Did he?

SPEAKER_06 3:35

Steven Schwartz.

SPEAKER_04 3:36

You're gonna make it an undeniable composer. I thought it was someone big, but um one of the best. And Han Zimmer. That's why.

SPEAKER_06 3:44

And Han Zimmer, and Hansimmer.

SPEAKER_05 3:46

Yeah, fucking A. Like literally the best of musical writing and the best of classical composing.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

I actually never knew that, and I love Steven Schwartz.

SPEAKER_05 3:54

Now it explains why you love it so much.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

And can we just say, like, uh we need to bring that back? Like Phil Collins writing Tarzan, amazing music. You have this getting writing Prince of Egypt. Like, bring back these super talented people. Right. Um I need more of that in my animation. I agree. If I can jump in.

SPEAKER_06 4:16

You've been jumping in.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

I'm just gonna jump right in. Because relating to that, I have to bring up a recent fad. I know it's a huge popular one right now, but I think it it deserves all of its hype because of the music. And it is K-pop Demon Hunters. That to me is a perfect movie. It is so good. The story is good, the singing is phenomenal. The and the the lyrics are beautiful. She the the writer's a talent. So I said what I said. K-pop amazing. I said what I said.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

I love that that's your choice. That's fantastic.

SPEAKER_05 4:52

I'm not surprised that that was your choice.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

So I oh here's the thing. I just wanted to give it a shout out because of the music. Because actually, when I really, really thought about it, I loved Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. Oh, yeah. I'm obsessed with that one. Also good music. It wasn't like original, but all of it is very well curated. And the art is just so beautiful and unique, and they were doing different things with the animation, even having like Spider-Man go at a different rate than some of the others to make him look different than the others. Like one is moving slightly faster. They were in like the ingenuity of it all, and it's also beautiful and art.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Say art one more time. Art. Art. Sony animation, right?

SPEAKER_06 5:35

Is one art one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:36

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_06 5:38

Sony's behind a lot of really good animated movies. Very good.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

Didn't they do the Mitchells versus the machines? They did the Mitchells versus the Machines.

SPEAKER_05 5:46

Delightful movie.

SPEAKER_06 5:47

Absolutely. One of the best animated movies to come out in a long time. And when Pixar has been dropping the ball, can we admit that? Pixar's been dropping the ball. I feel like they've just been like throwing things out just to throw things out.

SPEAKER_05 5:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've marvelized themselves.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

Did you say Toy Story 5 is about to come out?

SPEAKER_03 6:02

No, I just stop. We needed to stop at 3.

SPEAKER_04 6:06

Exactly. It was a perfect three.

SPEAKER_06 6:07

Well you liked four. You said four was the perfect end ending.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

You did. Who did?

SPEAKER_06 6:13

This can be traced back to the podcast you did. I did? Yes. If not the podcast, to a Facebook message that we exchanged, and I'm confusing the two. Mike's gonna be. But you said you really liked Toy Story Four.

SPEAKER_05 6:27

I was surprised at how much I did like it, but I don't think it was necessary.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

I don't think I those words would have came out of my mouth.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

The point is, is Disney is being boring, is just relying on a bunch of sequels and not coming out with really anything new and exciting, unlike Sony, unlike Dreamworks, who are actually coming out with some more fresh, innovative ideas.

SPEAKER_05 6:47

I haven't seen a good Pixar since I think Coco. Not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Coco first time I watched Coco, it wrecked me. Dude.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

It wrecked me. Him singing to the grandma at the end.

SPEAKER_06 6:58

I've seen Coco three, four times. I have cried every time.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

And this is if a movie makes me cry, I make it a point not to never watch it again.

SPEAKER_06 7:07

Really?

SPEAKER_03 7:08

Like how dare it make me feel weak? Like how dare it affect me like that.

SPEAKER_06 7:12

I wanna I want to feel the emotions. I want to feel all the things that I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

I don't like if it makes me if it makes me cry in a major way, I will refuse to watch it ever again. Because I don't want to relive that feeling. It was too good. Inside Out is also a one and done. I will never watch that movie again.

SPEAKER_05 7:26

Because of Bing Bong? Because of Bing Bong. I can't. That's a hard watch for that reason.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Yep, I can't.

SPEAKER_04 7:32

If I could throw another one out, Coraline.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Oh, Coraline's so good. Oh, it's so good.

SPEAKER_04 7:38

And it's an unconventional one. People don't think about stop motion, but it's it's animation.

SPEAKER_05 7:43

Does anybody fuck with the box trolls?

unknown 7:46

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

I have not seen that.

SPEAKER_05 7:48

Box trolls is so good and so cute.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

I don't know what that is, so I'm gonna say no.

SPEAKER_05 7:53

It's a claymation stop motion. It's really cute. It's about trolls who live in boxes and they eat cheese and it's great.

SPEAKER_06 8:00

And it was on Netflix, right? It was a Netflix. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:03

It's adorable.

SPEAKER_06 8:04

I love art in general, like visual art. And seeing different styles, like stop motion, I feel like uh it's so hard to produce. It's gone by the wayside a lot. Like we just don't do it. CGI is so much easier. It's an underappreciated art. Yeah. I will have to say, Corline, great pick. Has anybody seen uh 1990s animated all-stars to the rescue?

SPEAKER_04 8:30

No.

SPEAKER_06 8:31

It sounds very familiar. All Stars to the Rescue.

SPEAKER_03 8:33

Very familiar.

SPEAKER_06 8:34

Yes. That sounds so familiar. So animated All-Stars to the Rescue. All of the animation companies that had big IPs got together to make an anti-drug PSA. Wait.

SPEAKER_05 8:48

It's the Cartoon Cinematic Universe. It's the Smurfs. It's Donald Duffy Donald. Garfield, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

SPEAKER_06 8:58

All telling your kids, hey, let's not try crack. And I forget exactly the plot. Like, this little kid is like, I need crack. I love it. I've never had it before, but I gotta try it right now for the first time. Whatever, some bullshit. And Alf is like, don't try crack. How about a cat instead, or whatever?

SPEAKER_04 9:15

It says drugs don't stand a chance against these guys.

SPEAKER_06 9:19

Yep. Um, I just wanted to bring that up because I'm like, wasn't that fucking crazy that that happened? The post-Reagan era, man. War on drugs continues. Um, my favorite animated movie of all time. This is really hard that you're asking this of me. Um weirdly, random ones came into my head like um We're Back, a Dinosaur Tale, so good, um, Page Master, these old Fox animation, Fox animation artists. Central Park, Fantasy.

SPEAKER_05 9:47

Land Before Time, Disney? No.

SPEAKER_06 9:49

Land Before Time. Before Time.

SPEAKER_05 9:51

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06 9:53

They're rebooting that. Did you see that? Oh, yeah. Land Before Time? Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_05 9:56

Are they gonna give the dinosaurs feathers this time?

SPEAKER_06 9:58

It's gonna be called Land. Land with Too Much Time. Fuck. Fuck. I gotta see that shit. It was a Don Bluth uh movie. Don Bluth, uh, former Disney animator, did a lot of his own shit after he left Disney. So um, anyway, those those ran through my head. But as somebody who just appreciates visual art so much, I have to throw it back to Hayamiyazaki and Studio Ghibli. Uh not how you say it, but fight me. Um I I fucking love his art. And I was lucky enough to go to the um Academy Museum and walk through exhibits, hand-painted drawings that he did, like each cell hand painted. Imagine that. The dedication to the craft. And the staff would come up to me, like, don't take pictures. I was snapping away. I'm like, I'll never see these in person again. I'm near like I am near history. I was more excited about that than seeing Starry Night. Um to pick one movie, I'll pick a random one that is underappreciated. Secret The Secret World of Ariety, based off the borrowers. The secret world of Arietti.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

That one's really good.

SPEAKER_06 11:11

It is um why I love it. It's it's low stakes, you know. Uh Studio Ghibli movies can be very dark. See Grave of the Fire.

SPEAKER_05 11:18

It's relatively new. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:20

Um, yes. Uh great voice acting in it. I think Tina Faye ran away. And I think, yeah, it's uh it totally demonstrates what is so magical about hand-drawn animation and why I kind of despise CGI animation now.

SPEAKER_04 11:34

Alright, Dalton, are you about to like pick Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or something?

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Absolutely not. I'm not that basic. Um mine is a Warner Brothers, what I would consider a Warner Brothers classic, but I don't think other people consider it a Warner Brothers classic. Uh Quest for Camelot. Oh, brilliant Camelot. Good movie. So good. I was obsessed with kids. I did as a I loved that movie as a kid. Damn, that's a good movie. So good. Gary Oldman was the villain. Carrie Elwes was the like male protagonist. Oh, now where I'm watching that again. Um, but it was a it was a female level. Oh, it's the two dragon. The two-headed dragon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen that. Yeah. Um and she embarks with this blind hermit and this two-headed dragon to go retrieve Excalibur for King Arthur, who's played by Piers Brosnan. Uh, it's God, it's such a good movie.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

Oh, and even the music, like looking through her uh your eyes. Oh yeah, man. I would like to sing those songs as a kid. I loved it.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Um, My Runner Up, which is a knockoff animation studio from a former Disney employee, uh, but Swan Princess and Swan Princess 2, not Swan Princess 3, though. Um almost the perfect trilogy. Almost. Yeah. But they whiffed it. They often do.

SPEAKER_06 12:52

Um straight to VHS third edition.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

But yeah, Swan Princess and Swan Princess 2. I fucked with those movies. They were so good. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

They were so good. I also remember that as a kid. Oh my god, you're bringing back so many.

SPEAKER_06 13:03

80s, 90s, 2000s, a golden age. Really? Of like animated movies, like so good.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

I feel like I have to give an honorable shout-out to another Warner Brothers movie, The Iron Giant. Oh, that's that's a damn good movie.

SPEAKER_06 13:16

That's very good. Yes, yes, that is a damn good movie. A really well-animated movie. I love that art style. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:21

This is just, it proves to me there's so many adults. Like, I tried to get my mother to watch K-pop Demon Hunters, and she's just like, mm-mm. Like, she has definitely this prejudice in her head that uh cartoons are never for adults. And or even just like that. And I understand that this movie is geared towards kids, but I am of the opinion that it is all art, and so it is for everybody. And especially the themes of many of these movies, including K-pop demon hunters, can still resonate with adults.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:50

Uh it makes me sad when people limit themselves. So if you're listening here and you have not watched any of the movies we're bringing up, please go watch them. Uh, you know, watch them. Put away your biases, watch them all.

SPEAKER_05 14:01

Especially the drug one. That's the funny one.

SPEAKER_06 14:03

Especially the drug one 1990 cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Everybody that's listening out there right now, your homework is to go watch All-Stars and come back and email us or get in the comments and tell us what you thought. Ready and go. Go. What happened last time? The three of you found yourselves fighting these three Frankenstein-esque behemoths that each adapted to your fighting styles as you were actively fighting them, and they seem to have an answer for every attack you were throwing your way. Um, you are overheard a voice beckoning you down this hall and into this door, and it was uh Elodromeda, your former teammate who you are not positive, and may or may not be a double or quadruple agent. You're not sure. Uh, so you follow her voice into this room, and right before there was like this like maintenance hallway that you were making your way down. Um, and in the process, Alyssa was still transformed as her snake to puss form, and you accidentally put too much pressure on the ink sack that she did not realize that she had, and it exploded, covering all of you in this like thick black in the ink.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

And that's where we and I, in that surprise, uh I convert back to the Alyssa body, uh, not covered in ink though. So now I'm just looking at the guys fully covered in ink. Sawy.

SPEAKER_05 15:31

I spit out just a mouthful of ink.

SPEAKER_06 15:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 15:34

That was a lot too.

SPEAKER_06 15:35

Salty, dude.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

That was a lot.

SPEAKER_06 15:38

Oh, that was a lot.

SPEAKER_05 15:40

I haven't eaten pens since like eighth grade. I used to eat ink ink from pens all the time. That was a mistake. It was a mistake that we did.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

I'm so sorry, guys. I I I just had a panic when I saw those giant creatures, and I just remembered, oh my god, I can somehow change into creatures, and I just tried to think of the biggest thing I could think of.

SPEAKER_05 16:03

It was honestly cool. I think maybe I like you better as a snake to puss, but you can be a human or a plant thing if you want.

SPEAKER_04 16:10

Thank you. But that like it wore me out. Does anyone have like a snack?

SPEAKER_05 16:14

Oh I I hand you some ink from your own fucking. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 16:20

Oh, uh, here it is. I shake some ink off of it. Rattlesnake sushi. Rattlesnake sushi.

SPEAKER_05 16:27

I have one last piece. Oh, so that's all you.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

No, I was just seafood. I don't want sushi. Come on. Come on. It feels carnivorous at this point.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

And when Andrew says that's all you, that's literally all you. The rattlesnake sushi that Mike currently has is the chunks of flesh that were just carved off of your tentacles.

SPEAKER_05 16:43

Uh it's a fresh one.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

But okay, wait, I heard Elle. Has anyone seen her yet?

SPEAKER_06 16:48

Well, no, we're in an elevator covered in ink. I can't see anything. Access tunnel, not elevator. That's what I said.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

I I guess we keep moving forward.

SPEAKER_05 16:55

Let's just go to the end of the hallway and maybe she'll be waiting there.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Um, cool. So as you make your way towards the end of the hallway, much like on the other side, this metal door slides open. Um, and as it slides open, you find yourself in a rather spacious 10 by 10 uh white metallic room shaped like a cube. And as you step inside, the door shuts behind you, and then this like access panel slides down over the door, making all four of the walls just completely like blank slates. Um there's no there's no crease, there's no seam, um, there's no nothing. And then all of a sudden you start to feel this room move. Um and it begins to move down. No. But it does it very, it does it very slowly. Like it's very just like an elevator.

SPEAKER_05 17:50

Yeah. Do we press a button? Do we accidentally press a button? Did we hop on an elevator?

SPEAKER_03 17:54

Elle should have warned us we were getting on an elevator. As you say L should have warned us we were getting on an elevator, you hear Elle's voice. Yes, three of you, you are on an elevator. I know you're not geniuses like me, but I think you would at least know when you were in an elevator and when you were not.

SPEAKER_05 18:10

A little warning would be nice. Some of us are allergic to elevators.

SPEAKER_06 18:14

Yeah, I'm allergic. Oh my, I'm breaking out in hives. I make my skin bubble up.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Andrew, as you say, some of us are allergic to elevators. There are three more panels. Actually, there are four panels in total that illuminate on each of the walls. On the left side, there is a loadout for Mike. On the right side, there's a loadout for Alyssa. Behind you is a loadout for Andrew. It lists your current um heart rate, your stats, your blood pressure, your weaknesses, your strengths, um, your oxygen levels, like any vital or stat that you could possibly think of is currently being displayed in real time on the screens around you. And then the screen that blinks into existence in front of you is a digitized version of L. Um, and she says, I can see clearly by all three of your loadouts that none of you are allergic to elevators.

SPEAKER_06 19:08

Oh my god, you don't know that. You haven't tested me for all my allergies.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

Also, girl, we are not on Space House anymore. Why are you guys still tracking?

SPEAKER_05 19:16

She's like stalking us. It's getting kind of creepy, like creepers.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

I'm not the one tracking you, Alyssa. I figured you would have figured that out by now. Yeah, I gotta figure that out. Alyssa, roll roll intelligence for me.

SPEAKER_04 19:29

She's literally so condescending. Obviously, it's someone else doing the work for her. I was just saying that she has it.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

Alyssa, we're gonna k once we get to her, since you betrayed us and our team, we're gonna kill her, so it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

16. Okay, you recognize that Elle called you Alyssa and not Pony.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

Oh, so this just proves that you've been working with Dr. Bad. You just called me by my real name. I never told you that.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

I mean Oh my god. I mean, yes, I have been working with Dr. Bad, but no, I haven't been working with Dr.

SPEAKER_04 19:58

Bad, but I So how did you get these stats and how did you get my name?

SPEAKER_06 20:02

And these are really offensive, by the way. Weaknesses, cardio, vegetables, reading, Spanish? I'm pretty good at Spanish. I took four years in high school. All four years. You don't remember a lick of it, huh? L Biblioteca.

SPEAKER_05 20:17

I think it's La. Pretty sure it's La Biblioteca. Moi bien. I actually don't have no idea. It's La Biblioteca.

unknown 20:25

Shit.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

As Elle is trying to explain that she is or is not a double agent, she says, It's better if I just show you. The digitized screen in front of you changes to a like CCTV loadout screen of Dr. Bad sneaking into the living quarters, the apartments that you shared on Space House. Putting a USB jack into Elle's human brain of the chicken while she is asleep and downloading data.

SPEAKER_04 21:04

But I'm still confused. You you know more information, so was he providing you information? Yes and no. Is it two-way jack?

SPEAKER_06 21:13

You gotta explain now. You did you jack both ways?

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Yes and no. Each night he would download data from me that I recorded throughout the day about you and our fellow teammates.

SPEAKER_06 21:25

Okay. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 21:26

Why would you record us? Come on! You say it so casually. Why didn't you stop it? Why didn't you take the jack out?

SPEAKER_03 21:31

I had no control. Every time that he would download data, he would also download a firewall into my own system.

SPEAKER_05 21:37

Okay. Well, how'd you get out of it? Is this still in your head? How do we how do we know we can trust you now?

SPEAKER_04 21:42

You don't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:43

Oh good. Great. Great.

SPEAKER_05 21:45

So why don't you kill you?

SPEAKER_06 21:47

Just so you know. Yeah, why should we not immediately bash your little fucking glass cage skull in, take out your brain, stomp on it, take a big shit on it, light it on fire, and go on our merry way down this fucking elevator.

SPEAKER_03 21:58

Because I saved you, and I'm currently the Only one keeping you alive in this facility.

SPEAKER_04 22:04

And why? Honestly, because let's be real, L, you have not had much faith in us. So why are you helping us?

SPEAKER_06 22:13

We l we really respected you. You're a genius. We love you. We loved you. We showed you loyalty. You were a born leader to this group. Doing way better than anybody else on this group could have.

SPEAKER_05 22:30

Aww, Mike.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Andrew, that is so special. And that means a lot to me.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

It really does. But neither of you ever had a chance. Because not to be completely rude, but both of you are vastly intellectually inferior. Both of you are intellectually inferior.

SPEAKER_05 22:47

So it's not about our looks or anything physical.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

No, it's it's it's completely about what is inside your heads. Oh no, we're handsome. So we're handsome.

SPEAKER_05 22:55

It's our personalities that's the problem. You say we don't think good.

SPEAKER_06 22:59

You say we ain't smart enough.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

That is correct.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

You say Okay, I'm sorry. Ignore them and their vanity. You are still not explaining to us, Elle, how you are talking to us from this computer while Dez is in pieces in a tube. What made you so special that you're now here?

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Dez was an unfortunate accident.

SPEAKER_05 23:24

He was disassembled. How is that an accident?

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Dr. Bad was also using Dez to try and gather information on the three of you ever since you arrived in Space House.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

But why? So all of this, he was taking it off of you, he was taking it off of Des. All information about us. Why?

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Because the three of you are not from here. Which is like totally crazy and totally rad, but also very disturbing.

SPEAKER_05 23:47

We belong here just like every other. There's a lot of weird species here. Everyone has to come here at some point.

SPEAKER_03 23:51

Listen, the way that Dr. Bad says it, the last time that three or the last time that any unknown entity arrived in this area of the galaxy, this planet was lost.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

This planet?

SPEAKER_05 24:03

Okay, so you think we're gonna take over this planet and destroy it or something? Look at us. We're idiots, like you said. Yeah, we're good looking, handsome idiots, dude.

SPEAKER_06 24:10

We don't know how to do that.

SPEAKER_03 24:11

Because unbeknownst to the three of you, when you arrived on Space House for your first day and you were scanned by Dr. Bad's biometric scanner, he picked up an energy signature that he has not seen since well. Since what? From this planet.

SPEAKER_06 24:27

You can't go, you can't go well dot dot dot.

SPEAKER_03 24:30

Have the three of you not like figured it out yet?

SPEAKER_06 24:33

Obviously, we're too cute to figure everything out. So why don't you all say it because you think we're dummies?

SPEAKER_03 24:39

Of course not, because you're all stupid.

SPEAKER_06 24:41

Hey, excuse you.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

I'm sorry, Alyssa, you are probably the most intellectual out of the three of them.

SPEAKER_06 24:47

She's above average. Not like, you know, fucking menta level, but above average for sure.

SPEAKER_04 24:53

Calm down, calm down. I can prove myself. Alright, talking this through. We are obviously not the only ones who have come here from a different planet. We also know that we had NASA's uh astronauts come from our plan from our world here as well.

SPEAKER_05 25:07

But it's a ghost ship taken over by some creepy entity.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Real haunted actually. It's very haunted. Oh wait, do you mean the haunter?

SPEAKER_05 25:15

Do you the voice?

SPEAKER_04 25:17

Is that what you mean? The voice?

SPEAKER_03 25:19

It took a while, but the three of you finally got there. I'm so proud. No, we don't care about Earth. We've known about Earth for years.

SPEAKER_05 25:26

El, El, do you do you know how to get us back to Earth?

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Dr. Bat has theories.

SPEAKER_05 25:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 25:34

Why would he trust his theories? Fuck that guy. He's gathering intelligence on us.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

More important question, so you know of this strange entity. We can all confirm it from Earth. Do you guys know where it's from?

SPEAKER_03 25:48

According to Dr. Bat, it appeared in this galaxy decades ago. It infected every part of this planet, causing a mass exodus to the stars above. That's why they originally built Spaceopolis as a place of refuge.

SPEAKER_07 26:06

Huh.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

But they couldn't take everyone. So a merit-based system was designed, and those with enough popularity were then taken aboard to the house the to the shuttles of Spaceopolis.

SPEAKER_05 26:20

And that's the the basis of the clout system, guys.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

And then the remaining stayed here to die.

SPEAKER_06 26:28

Or be experimented on?

SPEAKER_03 26:31

Ah, there you go, Mike. See, I knew you were more than just a good face.

SPEAKER_05 26:37

So after everyone left, Dr. Bad just experimented on all the people who remained here.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

That is correct. And when the people to experiment disappeared from this planet, they had to find other methods.

SPEAKER_06 26:49

Go on. Always assume you can continue. Never pause pregnantly for seemingly no reason. Explain everything to me now.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

Contestants that lose Space House.

SPEAKER_05 27:02

Ah. But we didn't we won, right? Because we escaped.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

That's true. We were the first to escape. Technically, you blew it up.

SPEAKER_05 27:09

We d okay, we did not blow it up. We had help from a uh small koala with an Australian accent.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Potato potato. That's true. Slicer. Yes. We're also like totally aware of him.

unknown 27:21

God damn it.

SPEAKER_05 27:22

Well, Fan, wait, do you know our plan with Slicer and to get us back to Earth?

SPEAKER_06 27:29

Dude, you are so handsome it infuriates me sometimes. Can you keep your pretty mouth? Okay, I'm sorry. God damn it. Continue L. He was making up a lie or a play that we're reenacting or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

Yes, we're we're like totally aware of like the koala. Uh the small rodent, as Dr. Bad likes to refer to him, uh, leads a group of resistance fighters that have come from other star systems to try to liberate this planet, or uh detractors from Space Opus.

SPEAKER_06 28:00

Marsupial, but okay. Did you say Space Opolis? Say Space Opolis one more time.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Spaceopolis.

SPEAKER_06 28:05

I'm gonna untie your tongue. You handsome bitch. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_03 28:10

Or detractors from Space Opolis.

SPEAKER_06 28:12

All I want to know is do you know how to get us home?

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Like I said, Dr. Bat has theories.

SPEAKER_05 28:19

But we're not gonna trust Dr. Bat.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

In order for him to provide those theories, you will need to cooperate.

SPEAKER_05 28:25

With Dr. Batter Bat! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, we can't cooperate with he's the he's the bad guy.

SPEAKER_04 28:33

So you want us to be the experiments. Correct.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

And you already saw what happens when you don't cooperate. I know you saw an ego.

SPEAKER_05 28:40

Oh my god, guys, don't you see what she's doing? We were winning against the behemoths. They were the final boss, so she took us out of the room, and now she's gonna have us what deliver ourselves to Dr. Bad on a silver platter?

SPEAKER_04 28:52

Here's something you probably haven't learned about me just yet, with all of the stats and uh spying that you've done on us, because normally I'm a very agreeable person and I care about everyone. Cares about everyone except when you wrong me. When you wrong me. She gets petty! I get petty, and even if it takes me down, I'm gonna take you down with me. So you know what I have to say to you? Big old middle fingers. Middle fingers!

SPEAKER_06 29:20

Middle fingers. Dude, dude, take two of these, call her in the fucking morning.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

You might not know, but on earth, that means no.

SPEAKER_06 29:30

It's a mean no. It's an angry no. It is a rude no. Yeah, and everything that she just said goes double for me and triple for my handsome friend over here. It's called giving you the bird.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Don't know why, but that's what it is. Oh no. Oh. Oh, sad. Oh, pain. Oh, disappointment. Your primitive earth gesture really hurt my feeling. Come on.

SPEAKER_05 29:58

I'm gonna fry this chicken when we get to her.

SPEAKER_04 30:00

The moment you cut Inigo's hands off was the moment that you lost any goodwill from us.

SPEAKER_06 30:06

Inigo didn't talk a lot. He loved his hand. He told me he loved his fucking hands. He used them every day for a lot of stuff.

SPEAKER_05 30:13

He was always lotioning, he would clip his nails, he would like trim his cuticle. He like, he had such a well-manicured hand.

SPEAKER_04 30:20

And before you move to torturing us, which I'm sure you're well accustomed to doing, I will also say, again, pettiness. I will literally tell you nothing, even if it kills me, and I know the boys will do the same, but if you treat us if you treat us with respect, we will talk. Because the fact is we do know more information than you, and we've actually spoken to the entity before and lived. That you don't meet many people like that.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Alyssa, like Dr. Bad totally knows you've spoken with the entity. Why do you think he's so intrigued by the three of you? You've come into close proximity with it and still not been changed. The entity completely changed the molecular structure of this entire planet and the people who inhabit it. But the three of you, nothing.

SPEAKER_04 31:13

Hero, maybe you'll understand it if I talk like you, like this. Um, like obviously I understood that, and that's why I was bringing it up as a bargaining chip.

SPEAKER_06 31:22

Yeah, maybe if I talk like you. While she was bringing it up, that's really like horny. Is it?

SPEAKER_07 31:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:30

A little bit.

SPEAKER_05 31:30

Yeah. What's a chicken? What she's saying is, ignore him. Yeah, sorry about that.

SPEAKER_04 31:40

So, anyway, point is is that yes, you and I have both now admitted that we have information you need, and I'm explaining to you that if you try to force it out of us, you will get nothing.

SPEAKER_06 31:52

Alyssa does not like to be forced.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

Yeah. But if you treat us with respect and maybe do a quid pro quo.

SPEAKER_05 31:58

Oh my god, like in Silence of the Lambs.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

Yeah. It's Latin, it's from Earth, you probably don't know it. Um, but it's super cool.

SPEAKER_06 32:05

It is. If you knew Spanish or Latin, you'd be pissing your pants right now.

SPEAKER_05 32:09

Yeah. And you should be pissing your pants, because that entity on that ship, dude, the reason it didn't fuck with us is because we're way more dangerous than any entity you ever heard of.

SPEAKER_06 32:17

What you don't know is we contain magic from a unicorn goddess from another dimension.

SPEAKER_04 32:24

Okay, we're gonna stop giving her information until until she gives us some. Quid pro quo.

SPEAKER_06 32:31

Yeah, stop!

SPEAKER_04 32:33

Stop! She has not agreed to the quid pro quo.

SPEAKER_06 32:37

You quid pro quoos right now.

SPEAKER_04 32:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

Um, as you say, magical unicorn goddess. Um goes. Magical unicorn goddess? Well, that's not in any of the scans that we've done. Interesting.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

He's delirious. I I I inked him earlier. Oh, she inked me. Oh he's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Michael, we'll make sure that you're the first one to go into the neural analyzer.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this?

SPEAKER_06 33:05

I um I I I would like to bash Elle on top of her glass dome with my gravity gauntlets now.

SPEAKER_04 33:11

She's a hologram.

SPEAKER_06 33:12

She's a hologram. I'd like to set the hologram on fire and it does damage to her work.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

So as you as you bash the hologram, you do indeed punch the screen that L has been talking through, and it does crack and shatter. Um, and Elle's voice just becomes distorted and radiostatic like. Um, and she you you can't make out anything that she is see she is saying. Um, but eventually the elevator does stop. Oh god. And three seconds go by, four seconds go by, ten seconds go by, and then all of a sudden the door where the radio, or not the radio, but the the glass panel was that L was being uh projected through, um, raises, and out in front of you you see this large, almost hangar-esque type room, and lined on either side of it are rows and rows and rows of those behemoth-esque figures that the three of you fought earlier. Um, all of them standing at like a static attention, their eyes fixated on the three of you as that elevator door opens, but none of them make any type of moves whatsoever. And as you look out into this room, you hear Dr. Bad's voice for the first time not over an intercom, and then you can actually hear him speaking in person. Perfect. The gang's all here. After a tense exchange with their former teammates, our three heroes have found themselves further and further in the depths of Dr. Bad's base. Now staring down an entire battalion of his altered behemoths and coming face to face with the psychotic doctor behind all of this. What happens to our heroes next time? Find out when the newest episode drops Dungeon Radio Hour. In the meantime, head on over to our Patreon at www.patreon.com slash dungeon radio hour for more extended intros, behind-the-scenes content, and bloopers. Until next time, keep the volume up, the dial tuned in, and always say yes to adventure. Bye for now, kids. Bye for the nose. It's better if I just show you. And the Jiu Jij is the screen that she is on.

SPEAKER_06 36:01

Say that again. You said Digij High. Let's roll it back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

As El says. As El says.